What if the MLP re-drafted today?

Pondering an MLP re-draft

We’re in a (much needed) weekend off of PPA, APP, and MLP tournaments - how are you faring? It’s given us some time to ideate: what would the MLP look like if we were to re-draft today? Who would be at the top and bottom of the draft board? Consider these, in no particular order.

TOP 5(ish)

ANNA BRIGHT: When you think of a leader that carries a team— both physically and mentally— no one could be higher on the list than Anna.  Unlike some players, she never takes a game off and leads from the bench as well as the court.  Her stats don’t lie either, she’s elite. [Current MLP player rank: #2]

ANNA LEIGH: The photo says it all.  You draft ALW and you get a top coach (not for free, of course) and a top player.  While carrying your team to victory is more difficult as a woman, the number of times she’s dragged Ben and Will to victory speaks for itself. Also….Gucci 24/7 [Current MLP player rank: #1]

CHRISTIAN ALSHON: He may need to learn a thing (or three) about courtside interviews, but he knows a lot about pickleball and how to win.  Willing to the play the left or the right and becoming dominant in men’s now, his only real weakness is the lack of backhand offense. [Current MLP player rank: #8]

JW JOHNSON (but only with Jorja): JW just isn’t the same without the energy and confidence brought by Jorja.  Comparing their performance between last year and this year is night and day. The Dallas Flash was smart to draft them together, and is not surprising they’re one of the top teams in the league. [Current MLP player rank: #4]

BEN JOHNS (without Collin): Ben Johns is the indisputable GOAT, but lately when he plays with Collin his entire body language and demeanor changes.  Smiles are gone, energy is poor, and body language is horrendous.  Bring back Ben and Tyler and you’ve got a scary team. [Current MLP player rank: #11]

Bottom 5

COLLIN JOHNS: He’s team poison.  We’ve seen toddlers pout less than this guy, and several teenagers with more offense. [Current MLP player rank: #42]

ZANE NAVARTIL (The Fives, not Squeeze): We’re not sure if ALW likes Zane or hates him.  It seems she drafted him with the explicit purpose of sacrificing him to every top team so she and Will can get an easy victory into the dreambreaker. Either way, Zane has struggled since joining the 5s, falling significantly since his days with the Squeeze. [Current MLP player rank: #52]

RILEY NEWMAN: It’s difficult to say what has been a bigger disappointment: Riley’s MLP performance thus far or Columbus’s team uniforms.  Columbus is really embracing their name and making their players look like human condiments. [Current MLP player rank: #34]

JACK SOCK: You were the chosen one! Jack was supposed to come into 2024 and finally learn a consistent kitchen game to go with his blistering forehand.  Instead of a kitchen game, we got innumerable speedups into the net and an elitist attitude. [Current MLP player rank: #47]

ANDREA KOOP: As much as it pains us to put her on this list, the stats require her inclusion.  Sure she was forced to play with Collin, but even with Columbus, the results haven’t been much better.  Let’s hope she breaks out of this slump. [Current MLP player rank: #53]