Collin Johns Despises MLP

In an email sent this week, Collin Johns, serial complainer, had a LOT to say about the MLP:

I despise MLP for a variety of reasons.

1. A top player like Ben is handicapped for being the best by having bottom tier players on his team. That’s the equivalent of taxing the very wealthy who worked hard to be wealthy, to the point of having to work harder than the average person to come out ahead. It’s unfair to penalize him like that.

2. The scoring system is designed to allow inferior players to keep the scoreline close and steal matches they don’t deserve to win. The advantage of returning outweighs how much better a team or player is. This keeps the scoreline close no matter what and the freeze allows the inferior team during the match to catch up arbitrarily. The scoring system is extremely dumb. Just because a system is widely used doesn’t make it a good one. A proper scoring system should give the better team a legitimate chance to demonstrate why they are better. If the underdog performs better under those conditions that day, they deserve to win. But not just because they stayed close and caught up at the end because of the freeze.

3. It is portrayed as a “team effort” even though the results clearly hinge on certain matches where you personally have no control over the outcome. In theory, Ben and I could’ve won every single one of our matches but with our women going 0 and NINE to start the season, we have no ability to do more than offset that. As good as Ben is, he can’t play more than two matches and four points at a time in a DB. He is at the mercy of the rest of his “team” that are the bottom tier of available players. It’s a “team” yes. But with certain players carrying the bulk of the load to lift up players who aren’t actually pulling their weight.

4. Singles might be exciting but it is not  the focus of many top players. It is suddenly deemed important for some reason and made to be a big part of the event. I say that as someone who is very capable in singles. I am personally fine playing four singles points at a time. But I don’t believe it should be as important as it is.

5. Players, owners, GMs, and fans are permitted to behave in the worst ways at MLP. It’s part of the culture. You can scream, stare down, finger wag, taunt, cheat, and use pretty much any bush league tactics you want with very little risk of repercussions. It’s an accepted part of MLP. As someone who values a level of sportsmanship, I hate this part of it. It brings out the worst in people, and players who are normally quarterfinal level suddenly act like tough guy jackasses just because they have a better supporting cast than another top player. AL’s on court behavior was shameful against us. So it isn’t just lower tier players. It is a long list of guilty parties. This makes MLP unenjoyable to me and others who have similar views.

6. The venue selection is grossly unprofessional. This week was in a remote area of SLC at a facility without adequate spacing around the courts and horrendous lighting. The lighting is just so wrong. The Picklr literally put un-diffused lighting directly down the middle of the courts. Meaning direct LED lighting down the sight lines of the courts. This is absurd and grossly unprofessional to have players play a pro event in those conditions. Ben already has an issue with indoor lighting and this week was completely unworkable. You can’t compete if you can’t see the ball properly. Also, the last cumulative season event in DC was downright dangerous with where it was at, with no lights to finish matches within time constraints. The venue selection process is completely unprofessional by MLP.

7. MLP just signed a ball contract with Vulcan. I’m aware they were under pressure to follow PPA on that. However, when it comes to standards for the players, this is a downright wrong. The quality of the ball affects the quality of play significantly which is unfair to the players and the fans. We don’t practice hard to perfect shots that no longer matter because the ball doesn’t bounce. And I don’t want to hear it is the same for everyone. It isn’t. The worse players benefit more because it is less about skill and more about luck. Pickleball also loses when our “top players” routinely whiff the ball. I’m sure that looks really good on ESPN when we can barely make contact. It’s infuriating and unprofessional.

8. Paddle testing in DC was an unmitigated disaster. Not only do we have standards that are completely out of control, we can’t even rely on the testing equipment used to be consistent. This general issue is as much a problem at PPAs so it isn’t regulated to just MLP.

I am aware that there are many staff members who work hard to make MLP happen and fans who like going to the events. However, if MLP is asking for professional effort on the part of the players, they need to be held to the same standard. And the above factors are legitimate grievances. Particularly the ones that are unprofessional standards like the venue and the ball. If they want to pay us to stay home so be it. But we worked to receive a contract that includes being paid for “team events”. We will fulfill our contract duties and sign paddles and go chase the Vulcan ball around on court if necessary. But don’t expect us to enjoy doing it.